Bring Out the Gimp!

Folks, I am not a religious scholar but I think on Wednesday, we witnessed the fourth sign of the apocalypse. I can’t be sure, but I seem to recall an obscure part of the bible says the world will end when Yankee fans turn on one of their most beloved heroes. Well, that event happened this week so if the best-selling tabloid is correct, our days on this earth are numbered.

What we saw Wednesday in the Bronx was surreal and perhaps historic. I didn’t think I would live to see it, but we saw Yankee legend Mariano Rivera booed in front of the hometown folks at Yankee Stadium. That bears repeating. THE GIMP WAS BOOED AT YANKEE STADIUM! Are you kidding me? This is not Paul O’Neil. This is not Roger Clemens or Andy Petitte. This is Mary Rivera. This is the big guy. This is the cornerstone of the core. This is the difference-maker. This is the Godfather of Gimps for gods sake. But none of that mattered at 4: 21 EST in the Bronx Wednesday when a chorus of boos came cascading down on Mariano as he trudged off the mound, battered and bruised once again at the hands of the Red Sox. Fans sporting Boston lids probably contributed the lionshare of the chatter, but it was clear from the replay that many Yankee fans were willing accomplices.

So what is going on here? Clearly, the Sox have his number. I realize the 13th Amendment to the Constitution bans slavery and involuntary servitude, but the Sox own this guy. Pure and simple – Mary is the Sox bitch. The Yankees may be Pedro’s daddy, but the Sox are the dominatrix that leads Mary around the dungeon on a leash. Before you take issue with that comment, you may want to take a look at the recent history of this one-sided relationship. The Sox have gotten to him six times since last July and he has blown his last four save opportunities against his nemesis. Six is not a coincidence. Six is ownership. In fact, upon consideration, calling Mo a bitch may be a bit too generous.

The big question now is whether Mo’s problems will continue against the rest of the league. After all, he is 35 and relievers are prone to fall off cliffs, especially after they pass the five touchdown mark. And judging from what we saw this week, that cliff doesn’t seem too far off. Listen, I don’t expect Mo to become Bob Wickman or Uggy Urbina overnight. He probably still has enough in the tank to be a steady closer, but that is no longer a certainty. The fact is Mo is like Maverick in Top Gun. That accident in Game 4 of last year’s ALCS shook him up, much like Goose’s death threw Maverick for a loop. As a result of that mishap, Mo now lacks confidence and the willingness to engage. He may get his game back, much like Maverick did, but Yankee fans should be warned that real life does not always unfold like a Jerry Bruckheimer film. In real life, the MIG’s sometime shoot straight. Mariano found that out four times last year and twice again this week.